Letter to myself (of the past)

Since I’ve memory I've always had that "last time" melancholy feeling. It was like “the last time I enter this room”, “that I will meet this unknown person” “that I will walk this path” and so many others.

Some time ago, during a more or less formal interview, totally unexpected the interviewer told me "I can see that you have grit, but your eyes are saying they are sad", at that point I no longer knew if I were doing a job interview or if I were at the table with my tarot card reader, so, I simply smiled at him and answered, from my sad eyes, with a silent assent.

But I would like to say to the me of the past that things, after all, have not gone so badly and that perhaps, all those reproaches, those anxieties, that fear of not succeeding and never being good enough, were not so well founded, or perhaps yes, and they are the reason why I am who I am today.

This has always been, and always will be, a perennial doubt: are we the ones we are thanks to our dramas or, if we would have loved ourselves a little bit more and have lived the idea of ​​our future with more peace of mind, will we still be who we are today? I cannot answer this because, as the perfect incarnation of a Libbra, there will always be a constant struggle in looking for perfection (as well as his faithful companion who will never abandon me: dear perennial dissatisfaction).

So I want to tell to the me of the past, and to all the readers of the past (omg so confusing) that I have absolutely no idea of what we could have done or thought differently; but that the only lesson learned is that what is really important, at some point, is to sit down for a while and dedicate some words to ourselves. They could be consolation, reproach or motivation words, this depends on our inner self, the only certain thing is that we must love who we have been and remember to love who we are and who we will become day after day.

To the me of the future I wish a little more lightheartedness, in memory of the me of the past; I also wish ambition and positivity, and I always will remember to the me of the future to smile a little bit more, especially (and mostly) in the face of life's adversities.

What’s about you?